Detoxifying society

If people are still reading these blogs in say, ten years, I hope they will have to look up the meaning for FHRITP and “hate fuck”.

The FHRITP acronym has been used to publicly humiliate female journalists during live TV spots.  “Who would you like to hate fuck” was one of the posts of the Dalhousie dentistry students’ “Gentlemen’s Club” Facebook page.  These examples of hateful male bonding seem to be the topic of the week.

The Dalhousie students were sent to a restorative justice program rather than being summarily expelled. On the same day that I read the report, detailing the comprehensive process of rehabilitating the male dentistry students ( I listened to a CBC interview on the sexualized atmosphere in the military and the way different countries were addressing it (  The CBC interview focussed on finding the best mechanism for pursuing complaints of harassment and sexual assault of women, men and LGBT people in the military.  But when asked about prevention, one participant said that just being able to check “inclusion” off a list was inadequate; there needed to be enforcement.

Quite right.  But I generally associate prevention with education.  The word was not mentioned in either the interview on the military or in the Dalhousie report, although the Dalhousie report does describe “the way forward”:

“…addressing climate and culture is about doing the things we do differently, not just doing different things.”  They expect that “…the ways forward on culture and climate issues within the Faculty… will also be informed and shaped by the recommendations of the Task Force on Misogyny, Sexism and Homophobia … at the end of June 2015.”  I hope they are right.  Because part of a good university education is the preparation of young adults to take their place in society.

Unfortunately, we live in a society that is toxic – and unsafe – for women and LGBT people.

Inclusion and respect seem to exist only on paper.  The expression of deep hatred towards the “other” is based in the distortion of human sexuality where we commodify sex and objectify people.  I addressed some of these issues in an online magazine article on how this affects girls (  Their self-objectification starts young, when they are encouraged by societal norms, reinforced by media, to buy into their objectification and the accompanying loss of power.

When we see strong women break down because their hard earned power has been attacked, it is both shocking and distressing.  In the wake of the recent FHRITP incident, CBC women reporters assailed their harassers in a video where they related their personal stories of dealing with sexism (  One reporter asks why no one steps forward.  In a recent TV interview, a female comedian also asks: why does no one step forward when we are sexually harassed on stage?

The answer is that critical mass has not yet been reached.

Addressing society’s negatives, like racism, misogyny and homophobia begins in the home.  Media literacy can take place in front of any screen, unpacking the prancing women of Victoria’s Secrets’ lingerie ads, the overt misogyny of music videos and the every-day cultural normalization and trivialization of violence against women.  Before girls become imprisoned as objects in their own minds, this work needs to continue in the schools.  For example, the 2015 revised Ontario Health and Physical Education Curriculum addresses stereotypes, harassment and consent at multiple grade levels.  With good teacher training and comprehensive lesson plans, perhaps we can, at last, have some positive expectations for their – and our – future.

What I hope will emerge is a generation of young people who respect one another, who have no desire to discriminate on the basis of gender or sexual orientation, who are empathetic and brave.  They will stand up to the Neanderthals who have not yet absorbed the basic values of equality and respect.  This is the generation of young people who will turn rape culture on its ass and kick it to the door.


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